The short answer is a resounding YES. Getting married
without pre-marriage prep is like starting a business
or any important venture without preparing. Half
of all marriages end in divorce, and only half
of those that endure are truly happy in the long
run. Many happy engaged couples assume that they
won't be contributing to these statistics. But,
if you just wing it and count on your luck to make
your marriage a success, your odds are only one
in four. There is another way.
Most couples just don't realize that good, skill-based
pre-marriage counseling or classes can reduce the
risk of divorce by up to thirty percent and lead
to a significantly happier marriage, according to
marriage research. It can also reduce the stress
of the pre-wedding period. Just a little effort now
can make your odds a whole lot better over the long
run. You want to do everything you can to ensure
that your dreams of a great marriage and a great
life are realized.
Pre-marriage preparation is based on the reality
that it's important to strengthen your relationship
and prepare constructively for future challenges
and conflicts that everyone will inevitably face
at some point in their marriage, now while you have
so much fresh positive energy in your relationship.
Don't stick your head in the sand. The research shows
that there is a window of opportunity during the
year before the wedding and the six months or so
after when couples get the optimum benefit from marriage
preparation. Later, under stress, negative habits
and relationship patterns may become established
and be much harder to resolve.
Couples now face more demands and have fewer supports
than ever before. The typical complex marriage -
managing two careers while rearing children - really
requires that couples have very strong, well-established
abilities to communicate, resolve issues, maintain
mutuality and set goals. Without this foundation,
it's easy to feel overwhelmed by stress and time
pressures. Problems can intrude much more easily
than most couples realize. As much as it's important
to come to terms with unrealistically positive expectations,
those who grew up with divorced or unhappily married
parents may find that they have unacknowledged and
unexplored expectations that their marriage, too,
may become unhappy. Marriage preparation functions
as an immunization that boosts your capacity to handle
potential difficulties. Couples need every advantage
to succeed in today's marriages.
